Apartment for Rent

Image courtesy of Roman Kraft on Unsplash

For Rent: 2 bdrm, 2 bath apt, 800 sq.ft. Ideally located three blocks from downtown. Open living space, large bay window, hardwood floors, built-in shelving. Full access to community garden and two personal parking spaces. No pets, not even fish. Apt is absolutely not haunted. Landlord is not responsible for injury, maiming, or death of tenants or guests while on premises. $300/month! First month’s rent free! No background or credit checks! Contact landlord C.M. Resche at 617–1898.

[From the editor — Linda, this is eighth time this year we’ve run this ad. Please check with legal before posting again. Thanks. — JJ]

[JJ — legal says we’re covered. Running the ad in the Sunday edition. Isn’t Brian looking for a place closer to campus? — Linda]

[I’m not letting my kid rent a haunted apartment. — JJ]

[Ad says “absolutely not haunted.” — Linda]

[He can stay at home and scrounge off his parents for a few more years like every other kid. — JJ]

[I took a look at the place. Cancelling the ad and refunding the payment. Definitely not haunted. Landlord really needed to do his homework. Brownies love brownies, especially with strawberry frosting and fresh strawberries on the side. And a good broom.— Linda]

[What?]

[I need off Monday and Tuesday. Does Brian have classes those days? My rent will be so much lower that I can pay him with pizza and cash! Have him call me.— Linda]

[Rebecca Buchanan is the editor of the Pagan literary ezine, Eternal Haunted Summer. A complete list of her published poetry, fairy tales, fantasy, horror, mystery, romance, and science fiction can be found there.]